Tuesday, September 25, 2007


I have been considering moving down to Austin because it is closer to home. There is some conflict in this decision though. I don't know if I have given Denton, Texas a chance. Sara most likely hated Burnet for the first couple of weeks before she started meeting people. So I don't know if I leave I am leaving for the right reasons. I miss home, but I don't know if I have allowed myself to grow any in Denton. The only people I know well are Sara and Mitch and they are still pretty far away. I am trying to make new friends but everyone seems so busy up here, no one has time to just walk around and just enjoy the day.
Well the that is about my only thing I wanted to say. I might be leaving after this semester to go down to Concordia University in Austin. I hope that God guides me to make the right decision and I just pray that He will help me with this fork in the road. If you have any input or advice on what I should do please let me know.

Monday, September 10, 2007

my first romantic thoughts of my life

this is a poem about my experience with a young lady, and what thoughts went through my head on a Saturday night when I cuddled with her....nothing more than cuddling happened, scouts honor.. I also think thats why it meant more to me than if I would have gotten more physical with this girl.

Laid my head down, inbetween your shoulderblades
the perfect crevis for my brain to rest and think,
while you laid on your belly and pondered God knows what,
I could feel your spine on my temple,
so warm,
I wondered if you could be my home, my new home,
could you be somewhere I could rest my thoughts and my head forever?
you have the world I want to be apart of
and I have a problem with intimacy,
we were in our own world, before our friends woke to the sun,
but we didn't sleep, not a wink,
we soaked up each other's skin, but no words were spoken,
you laid on your belly and me inbetween your shoulders,
is this where I want to be? I think so,
the way your warm soft flesh on my rough weary face,
we had no where we needed to go except closer,
nothing will replace the way your warm body and my cold heart
mixed to make an interesting temperature,
the world is out to get me, so I wondered
could I warm my insides with your back?
Is your life warm enought to heat up my soul?
you got it, but I can't have it,
did our friends heat each other as you did to me? I hope so,
our bodies were put together,
with you on your belly and me between your shoulderblades
we had to change, but I never wanted to,
I haven't felt the summer heat in September until then
It won't be like this forever, I told myself
with you on your belly and me resting in your shoulders,
I spoke to others as we absorbed each other,
I know it sounds crazy, but your fire
was burning my cold body,
you knew you were hotter than me,
you knew you heated up my lost heart,
you heated up my whole world,
with you on your belly and me inside you...