pipe dreams

So if you read my other blog it talks about the poem reading that happened on saturday, well Korey my brother thinks it was really good and I don't know what to really do with what he is putting out there for me. He has offered to record me and make me a myspace page with some of my poems on it. It sounds great but I don't want people to think that I am trying to become some successful poet (it would be cool) but it is not my dream. I don't feel like I am good enough to make it in that industry especially when Bradley Hathaway has done basically everything I am about to do. I am not Bradley Hathaway and I am not trying to be. I enjoy reading my poetry to open ears and the more people know about me the more people I can read to. I don't have dreams of becoming this amazing poet with a book and a cd, I am just a kid trying to entertain myself and do something I enjoy. I know that many people will view my plans as a entreprenurial effort to become a great and famous person, that is not my intention. I am not looking for glory or to even make something out of my writings. I am just doing something I enjoy and I am not trying to steal anyone's thunder or put the lime light on me. I know many people will see it that way but hopefully the people that matter and care about me will still see me as I am and not as some get rich quick poetry loser trying to copy something that has already been done.
thank you again to everyone who listened to my poetry I enjoyed it and thank you for anyone willing to give me advice on this subject aka sara and mitch.

my first poetry reading

this past Saturday, I was invited by my brothers in a band called Exploring the Sky by Day to read poetry before they played and I did.
I read seven poems that I wrote. I was really nervous just because poetry is more of a mature kind of thing where as rock music is a sporatic art. (I'm not saying my poetry is art) So I was worried about how people would reacte to my poetry and luckily everyone seemed to enjoy it. Once I started reading I realized that I was going to be ok and that I have been on stage before. I read and everyone laughed at the right parts and seemed to enjoy it.
After I was done I was greeted with, "Josh that was so good." and "Josh, I loved it." which was good because I've always been kind of had a doubt that my writing isnt very good. so everyone seemed to like and it and I was invited to read again before Exploring the Sky by Day. So it was great and my best friend Jordan said he loved it and that was the best part because he doesnt say he loves anything unless he really does.
Thank you all of the Burnet kids for that experience
Thank you poetry night for teaching me how to read poetry properly and to write well.

new experiences I suppose

This is the update on myself, here is some of the stuff my life contains.
I still dont know if the Great Pumpkin is good or bad.
Being out on the lake with Ben, Cory, and Abe is always the funnest time. I dont know why its always good with them but it is.
I like to film with my little dinky camera way to much.
I have finally let go of trying to make my future the best one possible. I am just putting it in God's hands now.
I have realized I have never been in love with a girl. I also have never had a broken heart.
I write way more than I used to.
I go to Kay's and Zales and pretend like I am buying a ring for a girl and I am going to propose to her...I dont even have a girlfriend, I just think its funny to listen to the girls that work at the stores.
I understand Mitch's blogs and his 'about me' now.
I take walks in the park almost everyday and I don't stop walking until I have put my ipod on a band and listened a whole cd of theirs.
When I see a girl and I think she is pretty I walk up to her and say "You're very pretty." I say it sincerely too and then I just keep on my way.
I want to learn to play harmonica really bad.
I explored these woods behind Home Depot and their is this creek back there and it has so many frogs(like bullfrogs they are so big) and turtles, and the creek is to shallow for them to run away from me or hide underwater so I chase them and catch them. I put them back after I capture them. No harm done.
I have a big sister and big brother, Sara and Mitch. I have never realized how much I have learned from Sara until now. I just think about how far I have come from when I first met her and now where I am. I have not hung out with Mitch for longer than about 4 hours, and everytime he sees me somehow he is able to mess with my happy little life. I don't question life alot, I don't try to comprehend time and God, I just know what they are or what they want from me, but dang Mitch smashes my happy little life. He makes me look at things and think about things I have never thought about, I get lost and I have no idea how to take the information he has just laid in front of me. So I ask him and he just says that I have figure it out for myself. Then I try to be sneaky and ask Sara what Mitch is talking about but she says the same dang thing. Mitch and Sara you mess with my life so bad just to let you know, but it is a good thing.
I have really good brothers and sisters, Will, Jordan, Korey, Kenan, Ben, Cory, Jacob R., Alisha, and Virginia.
Lightning is still the best part of nature.
I am planning on going on my own mission trip with some friends. I don't like people being in charge of me and telling me where to go so I have decided to start my own. (if you are intrested let me know)
Life is a really good thing.
Finding friends is something I don't have a talent for.
I fear crickets and Hell about the same amount now. I don't know if that is good or bad.
I think that is all that I will reveal for now. Thank you for your time...but time doesn't exist just to let you know. pffft mitch

Mitch and Sara

thank you for all your help throughout this past year, I have learned so much about life, God, relationships, and happiness from you guys, I just wanted to say that I appreciate everything you guys have done for me. You are my second pair of (not old) parents. I just wanted to say thank you for always teaching me something and being great people to me and everyone around you. I only hope that one day I will have someone to relay all the advice you have given me, to.
thanks guys and I am going to try and stick it out here.

leaving?

I have been considering moving down to Austin because it is closer to home. There is some conflict in this decision though. I don't know if I have given Denton, Texas a chance. Sara most likely hated Burnet for the first couple of weeks before she started meeting people. So I don't know if I leave I am leaving for the right reasons. I miss home, but I don't know if I have allowed myself to grow any in Denton. The only people I know well are Sara and Mitch and they are still pretty far away. I am trying to make new friends but everyone seems so busy up here, no one has time to just walk around and just enjoy the day.
Well the that is about my only thing I wanted to say. I might be leaving after this semester to go down to Concordia University in Austin. I hope that God guides me to make the right decision and I just pray that He will help me with this fork in the road. If you have any input or advice on what I should do please let me know.

my first romantic thoughts of my life

this is a poem about my experience with a young lady, and what thoughts went through my head on a Saturday night when I cuddled with her....nothing more than cuddling happened, scouts honor.. I also think thats why it meant more to me than if I would have gotten more physical with this girl.




TIES
Laid my head down, inbetween your shoulderblades
the perfect crevis for my brain to rest and think,
while you laid on your belly and pondered God knows what,
I could feel your spine on my temple,
so warm,
I wondered if you could be my home, my new home,
could you be somewhere I could rest my thoughts and my head forever?
you have the world I want to be apart of
and I have a problem with intimacy,
we were in our own world, before our friends woke to the sun,
but we didn't sleep, not a wink,
we soaked up each other's skin, but no words were spoken,
you laid on your belly and me inbetween your shoulders,
is this where I want to be? I think so,
the way your warm soft flesh on my rough weary face,
we had no where we needed to go except closer,
nothing will replace the way your warm body and my cold heart
mixed to make an interesting temperature,
the world is out to get me, so I wondered
could I warm my insides with your back?
Is your life warm enought to heat up my soul?
you got it, but I can't have it,
did our friends heat each other as you did to me? I hope so,
our bodies were put together,
with you on your belly and me between your shoulderblades
we had to change, but I never wanted to,
I haven't felt the summer heat in September until then
It won't be like this forever, I told myself
with you on your belly and me resting in your shoulders,
I spoke to others as we absorbed each other,
I know it sounds crazy, but your fire
was burning my cold body,
you knew you were hotter than me,
you knew you heated up my lost heart,
you heated up my whole world,
with you on your belly and me inside you...

my first experience with a poetry night

Yesterday was a very eventful night compared to the others I have had in Denton/Dallas.
I went to dinner with an old friend...you might know her as june wild or sara elizabeth triana.
I made my way to Dallas with little complication, thank goodness.
I then ventured to Sara's apartment where I met her three other roommates, actually I am quite acquainted with her best friend Sarah. I met an Alyssa, she was a very interesting character full of energy and life. Then I met the other Alyssa more of a quiet and yet hyper young lady, she was very funny just her little comments on what people said it just made me laugh. Also I saw a friend from church camp named Austin Gilly, he also goes to DBU, he is probably the best camp rec team companion I could have asked for. Lastly but not least(leastly?) Mitch was there, and I was just glad he was there because he laughed so much. He has this classic laugh that just puts me in a better mood.
I enjoyed sitting down and having a delicious meal with all of these people, I had fun watching how they reacted with each other. Afterward I followed Sara to Albertson's so she could get some finger food for the wine and poetry party. When I say "finger food" I mean cheese, some different cheese, some other cheese, two loaves of bread, two bags of cookies, and a 2 liter bottle of Dr. Pepper(for me). Then we journeyed to Mitch's house. When we got to Mitch's house, he said he needed to go get the wine so I accompanied him, hoping to learn something new that Mitch would teach me. I learned that white wine goes great with a meal especially with chicken. I then learned that if you are a wine drinker that you know you have truly made it in life when you buy a bottle of wine and it costs more than fifteen dollars...THE FIFTEEN DOLLAR THRESHOLD! Thats really what I picked up from the trip there and back. When we arrived back at the apartment, Sara and Mitch got ready for their guests to arrive, I had no idea what to do so I just bugged Mitch by asking him questions about everything.(sorry) What bothered me the most while waiting for these guests was that niether Mitch nor Sara told me what these other people were like. They told me names and names only which made me very uneasy. The first guest to arrive was Oscar, a tall slender young man with black leather boots, a striped shirt, a black leather vest, and a scarf/bandana around his neck, oh yeah and he had a ponytail...not a white trash one a clean nice looking one. As I listened to Oscar I first learned his love for women, not just women of one shape, size, or race, no his love for women in general. He loved women but only to a certain extent, "I love women, until I get to know them, then I hate them."-Oscar. I found out from Sara that he is from Honduras and is a very romantic and very very very smart man(like mitch smart). Oscar is not a Christian but he probably knows more about the Christian faith than many believers out there, he might no more than me I'm not sure. As we made small talk, two more of the guests showed up, James and his friend Maggie. James had a fo-hawk and a long strand of hair behind his ear that immediatly took your eyes off him and on it. Maggie had a sweet voice and was a very nice person from what I could tell from. Sara, Mitch, and Oscar all read poetry from different authors and I enjoyed it very much. The way the put the passion into these other peoples poems making them as if they had written them, it was incredible. I never could grasp many meanings to poems when my english teacher read them to me, but as these three people read to me I listened and soaked in the words they spoke and I loved every second of it. The way the poems made me think, everytime a poem was read I went into this world picturing the authors poem, why they wrote it, what happened to them that would make them think of such majestic words to describe how they feel. I loved how different all of these people were and how they all interacted with me and one another almost as to create a world different than the one we live in. The things I learned from all of these people was so amazing. One more experience happened to me that is more comical than the rest of this story; Blake, Mitch's best friend, was going to come but he was going to be late, as the night progressed it came time that he showed up. When Mitch told me Blake was his best friend I pictured a man with short hair and ressembled Mitch. When Blake knocked on the door I was closest to the door, so I opened it. Blake is not anywhere near Mitch's size! Blake is about 6 feet tall from what I'm guessing and well he is just a big guy, he isn't fat he is...he is Ben sized but he is really tall as well. My eyes when I gazed upon this giant were in awe, the beast of a man shook my hand and with his deep voice said "hi, I'm Blake"

thats all of my story, we read poems and it was great and I thank both Sara and Mitch for being so nice to me and allowing me to come and enjoy that experience, hopefully they will let me come again.

the college life

So if you dont already know, I am out on my own
I have recently moved to Denton TEJAS to get some college schooling
I am 4 hours away from my real home.
I have moved into my dorm in Maple Hall
My roommate is an interesting character, some would call him a creeper (summer).
I have so far enjoyed myself to a certain extent
I dont know anyone here and it is difficult to just strike up conversations since everyone is so busy.
Classes start tomorrow so hopefully I will be able to make many new friends.
I dont believe this place will replace my home in Burnet, but I do believe I will enjoy my temporary stay in this large town.
I have some friends in Dallas that will be able to help me with my studying and giving me advice with college, since they are all DBUsters.
I know that this flat plot of land called Denton will give me a nice change of pace, and will help me grow more independent and adventurous.
I think my optimism will make my visit here be much more satisfying.

changing?

I am NOT,
the small boy that had elastic waste bands in his jeans,
and a father with a mustache,
the boy with the power wheels dump truck,
and a buzz cut,
I'm not the little child that woke up before dawn,
I have changed so much from those days,
the days when I only saw friends at school,
and when I climbed the jungle gym I never hit my head on anything,
I have come a long way,
since the days when I didn't know anything,
I didn't care to know anything back then,
now I am "legally" an adult,
I take naps now because I enjoy them,
not because my teacher tells me too,
and instead of my father having a mustache,
I have to shave just to keep from getting one,
I am not the little one I used to be,
I have questions now that cannot be satified by a simple "because"
like they were in my younger years,
luckily some things have not changed,
I still enjoy watching Peter Pan,
and it still amazes me that my kindergarten teacher shot and killed a polar bear(not a lie, she used to live in Alaska, Mrs. Vanmort)
but for the most part I am a new person,
people no longer call me boy or... lad(if I would have went to England thats what they would have called me)
I am now a young man in every sense of that 2 word title,
I am an adult,
I am Joshua Ryan Scott,
Thank you.

da boys that I am leaving

I'm coming to the conclusion that my friends or "the boys" are gunna die with lives full of laughter, and waking up on each others beds and couches, never knowing what a warm breakfast tastes like,(except for the times Sara made muffins), they fall in love with everyone and never look back on who broke there heart in the past, dancing until its time to sleep, and losing their real names to countless new nicknames, breaking things that don't belong to them, soaking up each others joy and humor just to spit it back out for others to chew on, wrestling in front yards, playgrounds, and baseball fields, my friends are gunna die on each others floors and cots, looking for family and companions that they had all along and will never lose, I pray all their lives turn into something beautiful, I pray that God will keep them here not in this town but in their attitude towards the world with long nights, dim mornings, cold plates, and dirty rooms, let them stay the way I will leave them, as I move off to college for the next chapter of my life, let Jordan find a world beyond his relationship with his girlfriend, let Korey lead "the boys" in a direction new to them (I already see that he is going to be the new leader and a great one), let Abe stay in that light hearted mood he has been in since the day I met him and let him always be the Gas-Man, let Ben become a new high speed satellite connected computer, instead of the old crappy library computer that I always seemed to get in high school, let Jacob stay his joyous self and let me be thankful that his hair isn't touching me, allow Sara to know how grateful all of us, the boys she befriended, are for meeting such a beautiful and unique person, let Summer stay a townie and let it always be funny to call her that, let my little brother see that when I have moved away I did not abandon him, but left him with 5 older brothers to take care of him and show him the way to wrestle with his friends, to swim in the riverwalk, the way to have mud fights, the way to handle high school, and most importantly the way to make memories, because one day all "the boys" will have grown to old to stay here in this welcoming town, and the only thing any of us will have are the memories, so let us all pray those memories never flee from our heads, let us all be dreamers and dream of the times we went to IHOP at 4 in the morning, or the time when Ben read the phonebook, let us all dream of our time that we spent with each other,
I have learned so much from all of you, and thank you

first blog on blog spot

i just signed up for this website because one of my friends (sara) told me i should get one so here it is, first blog,